- Don't worry about WHEN the story happened. Most times, it doesn't matter. Just say, "the other day..." and get on with it.
- Don't begin with, "Have I got an interesting (or funny or exciting) story to tell you!" Most often, you'll create an expectation you won't be able to live up to. Besides, I'll be the judge as to whether it's interesting, funny, or exciting.
- "He says" and "she says" can be brutal to hear. Condense it for the listener and tell the gist or result of what he said or she said.
- Me, me, me. If all your stories are about you, you're gonna have nobody around to tell them to.
- Use your gifts of perception and if the listener is bored, then shut up.
- Don't repeat. "Say something once, why say it again?" -David Byrne
- Don't tap someone's arm throughout the story and say eh!
- Drop the y'know (or y'know what I mean?) from the end of your sentences. If the listener knew, there would be no point in telling him.
- Holding up three fingers to mime the word "three" that you've said is not only unhelpful, it's distracting.
- Finally, figure out which of your stories work and which ones don't. Drop the ones that don't.
"I'll have to tell ya, last Thursday I was... or was it Wednesday? Let's see, I was grocery shopping and I usually do that Wednesday but I fell so I couldn't. It must have been Monday ... or Tuesday...”
"And then she said, "How do you mean?" And then I said, "I was just about to tell you." And then she said, "Well, go ahead". Then I said, "Hold your horses will ya?"
